Spiritual Corner -- Should I Get Married in Church?

Brothers and sisters in Christ, this Sunday the Church celebrates Marriage Sunday. Through this celebration, the Church reaffirms the holy nature of marriage. At the same time, it is to thank couples for their delightful witness of the good news of heaven through their loyalty, love and sacrifice in their marriage life.

For Christians, a perfect and successful marriage must be rooted in Christ, otherwise, it can hardly bear lasting fruit. This is just as what Jesus said, “…for without me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) In order to achieve the above ideal, the Church places emphasis on the premarital preparation. Pope John Paul II in his “familiaris Consortio” defined that such preparations should include three main stages: remote, proximate and immediate preparation.

“‘Remote preparation” begins in early childhood, in that wise family training which leads children to discover themselves as being endowed with a rich and complex psychology and with a particular personality with its own strengths and weaknesses. It is the period when esteem for all authentic human values is instilled, both in interpersonal and in social relationships, with all that this signifies for the formation of character, for the control and right use of one's inclinations, for the manner of regarding and meeting people of the
opposite sex, and so on. Also necessary, especially for Christians, is solid spiritual and catechetical formation that will show that marriage is a true vocation and mission, without excluding the possibility of the total gift of self to God in the vocation to the priestly or religious life.

‘Proximate preparation’, from the suitable age and with adequate catechesis, as in a catechumenal process involves a more specific preparation for the sacraments, as it were, a rediscovery of them. This renewed catechesis of young people and others preparing for Christian marriage is absolutely necessary in order that the sacrament may be celebrated
and lived with the right moral and spiritual dispositions. The religious formation of young people should be integrated, at the right moment and in accordance with the various concrete requirements, with a preparation for life as a couple. This preparation will present marriage as an interpersonal relationship of a man and a woman that has to be continually developed, and it will encourage those concerned to study the nature of conjugal sexuality and responsible parenthood, with the essential medical and biological knowledge connected with it. It will also acquaint those concerned with correct methods for the education of children, and will assist them in gaining the basic requisites for well-ordered family life, such as stable work, sufficient financial resources, sensible administration, notions of housekeeping.

‘Immediate preparation’ should take place in the months and weeks immediately preceding the wedding, so as to give a new meaning, content and form to the so-called premarital enquiry required by Canon Law. This preparation is not only necessary in every case, but is also more urgently needed for engaged couples that still manifest shortcomings or difficulties in Christian doctrine and practice.

The important points instill on the path of faith, just like in catechizes should include the meaning of miracles and grace of Christ and the Church, the responsibilities and deep understanding of Christian marriage, and at the same time actively prepare and consciously participate in the rites of marriage ceremony.” ( Ref. “familiaris Consortio” #66)

Thus, in accordance with the Church instruction, parishes, in managing the immediate preparation, should require the marrying couple to submit application at least one year ahead of their wedding. In the event that one of the couple is Catholic at the point of marriage, the rite of marriage should still be held in church, otherwise, the marriage will not be blessed by the Church, and they will be regarded as living in sin, and should temporarily abstain from receiving the Eucharist. Many Catholics have mistaken that only when both parties are Catholics then the rite of marriage held in church is required.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, let us continue to pray for married couples on this Marriage Sunday, pray that God will bless them to grow incessantly in the love of Christ, and to always share the happiness and joy of marriage life.

Your Pastor,
Fr. Francis Chong