Spiritual Corner - Lord, What Would You Like Me to Do for You?

I often asked, “Lord, what would you like me to do for you?” My godmother, knowing that I wanted to become a nun, said to me, “You should first ask yourself: Lord, what would you like me to do for you?” At that time, in order to discern my religious vocation, I joined the Holy Spirit Prayer Group. My mother was not happy about me becoming a nun. To
keep my resolve, I went for spiritual counseling to understand why it was so difficult for me to leave my mother. Then, a voice emerged: “If you can’t love someone you can see, how can you love me, someone you can’t see?” It struck me like thunder deep within my heart. That was so true! If I couldn’t love my mother, how could I say, “I love God”?

A friend of mine recommended three religious orders to me: one with its headquarters in Wisconsin, one in France, and one known as the Dominican Sisters of China now. I felt I was better suited to a major international order, with the possibility of further study abroad. Unfortunately, within six months, the first order’s counselor sister was transferred back to the headquarters for further study. As for the French religious order, I was scheduled to meet with the Superior General. On the day of the scheduled meeting, I was surprised to find that the car stopped at a cemetery instead of the familiar convent gates. An uneasy feeling immediately befell me! When I met the counselor sister, I had already missed the Superior General. I related my experience to my spiritual director of the Holy Spirit Prayer Group, and he sighed, “Why didn’t you listen to God's guidance?” I muttered, “I listened, but I couldn’t hear anything. Didn't God give me the freedom to choose for myself?” The spiritual director didn’t respond.

By chance, I went on an eight-day retreat. On the morning of the first day, I was mumbling to myself three times, “Do you want me to go to the Chinese Dominican Sisters in Dounan?” I didn’t expect a response, but a deep, male voice boomed like thunder: “Yes!” I was stunned. I heard it, truly I heard it! My story ends here.

In pastoral work, we encounter many situations, such as the large number of people, many conflicting opinions, and the constant flow of gossips. With so many people and so many things to do, if one person insists on his/her own opinion, there will be no room for communication and coordination, and group cooperation becomes difficult. If every
Catholic, in their daily life of faith, could ask himself/herself, “Lord, what would you like me to do for you?” then, in their pastoral service, they would realize they are actually serving Jesus out of love in every act, no matter big or small. If Catholics constantly profess “love for Jesus” but fail to love those around them, or only associate with those they like and enjoy talking to, how can they truly be said they love Jesus?

At this point, I sincerely admit that I myself still have much room for improvement. Help me, Jesus, help me!

Yours,
Sr. Magdalena Yang